Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
