I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
