I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
