Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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