I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
