She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
