the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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