I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
