Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
