So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She bit a glass in half.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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