Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
