I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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