i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
