Do you still have your period?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
