we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
