he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
