That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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