At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
