you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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