Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
