This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
