in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
