he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
