Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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