When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Congratulations! We have a period
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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