brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
high people should be assigned attendants
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I deserve this hangover.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
