There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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