that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
