I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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