It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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