I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
