Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
