we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
