We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
P.S. I can't hear my feet
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
