Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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