well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
