I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
