the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
