is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
