What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
