Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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