Did you just see the Batmobile???
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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