don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
