officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
