Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
