I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
