I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
