stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
