then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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