He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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