who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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