i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
