five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
