It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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