Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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