erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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