the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
