how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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