We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
