I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
