Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
