She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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