Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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