You're so nebulous sometimes
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
