even my farts smell like vagina
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
