I should be sponsored by Trojan
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
