I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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